How To Control The Way You React (part one)
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You've probably heard sayings like:
"It's not what happens that matters just how you react (to what happens) that matters"
"It's not about the state of affairs or the circumstance, it's about you in information technology"
"Things just have the pregnant nosotros give them"
"People only care for y'all the way you let them"
Yous the Reactor
All of the higher up sayings refer to how we deal with, manage and react to what happens in our globe. In extreme cases a momentary reaction tin influence, if non shape, the next ten (twenty, fifty) years of our life. For good or bad. And on a completely dissimilar scale, many reactions will be unconscious, nearly meaningless blips on the radar of our life. From the moment you and I leave of bed each day we are reacting (consciously or non) to our dynamic environment. Fortunately we don't live in a static globe; how tedious would that be? Nosotros react to a wide range of stimuli hundreds of times every day and while the majority of our reactions are incidental and largely inconsequential (catching the falling spoon from the border of the table, changing stations when nosotros don't similar the music, answering a uncomplicated question), others will play a significant role in our future – although we may non be enlightened of it at the time.
Finding the Bad
Some of usa have mastered the 'habit' of reacting negatively; of finding the bad, rather than finding the lesson or finding the adept. For many people, the "what can I learn from this" question doesn't characteristic nearly equally much as the "why do these morons make my life a misery" or "why does this always happen to me" questions.
A Hypothetical
Two people become through the same result (a minor traffic accident peradventure). 1 emerges from his vehicle wielding an iron bar, frothing at the mouth, screaming obscenities and threatening violence, while the other calmly searches for a pen and paper to exchange insurance details. The psycho gets arrested for attempted attack and battery with a weapon, while Mr Calm drives home with a pocket-size scratch on his auto, kisses his wife and kids and carries on with his happy life. Rather than learning a lesson from the experience and vowing to change his means, the angry psycho gets even angrier at the cops, the judge, the legal system, the authorities and the rest of the globe for victimising him. Following his arrest and confidence, he continues to stumble from one (self-created and perpetuated) drama to the next. Never realising that in the heart of all these catastrophes, he is the common denominator. He is the reason. He is the creator of the mayhem. He is the problem. And the solution; should he choose to be. If but he would learn to manage the events of his life differently (react differently), his life feel (his reality) would change dramatically. Simply equally long as he continues to do the same (react poorly), he will continue to produce the same type of negative, destructive outcomes.
Calm in the Middle of the Anarchy
The sooner we realise that nosotros tin can have a slap-up 24-hour interval, every day, despite what does or doesn't happen on that twenty-four hour period, the sooner we volition motility away from the chaos and into the calm. Keeping in mind that we exist in a physical world merely do near of our living in our head. With practice you and I tin can be the calm in the centre of chaos. For the most function, the only surroundings you lot and I can control is our internal 1, so how nosotros react, how nosotros interpret situations and the type of questions we ask ourselves volition play a big role in that process. Even though we have the ability to control our internal environment (our reality), sadly, many of the states manus over that power to situations, circumstances, events, 'luck' and my (least) favourite, other people. As long equally our internal environment is merely a reflection of our external reality and then our happiness will always exist held to bribe past something beyond our control.
Daily Challenge
Every day of our lives you and I are presented with situations, circumstances, events, challenges and conversations which volition elicit a reaction from us (one way or the other). For some this volition produce an emotional, volatile, irrational, spontaneous or even disastrous response, while for other folk it will be a more measured, calm, considerate and strategic response to the happenings in their earth. Emotion is what drives us, but logic and intelligence is what should exist steering us.
So why do we do react stupidly when we know improve?
Because in 'that moment' our response invariably has nothing to exercise with logic, understanding or intelligence and everything to do with emotion (insecurity, acrimony, fear, resentment, jealousy). We don't actually recollect, consider or plan, we just react. Rather than (us) managing our emotions, all of a sudden our emotions are running the testify. Oftentimes with dire results. All that 'self-assistance stuff' goes flying out the window. Yeah, seen it. Done information technology even. Sitting at our figurer reading an article like this is the easy bit; it all makes sense. We're in complete control. We're at-home, cerebral, logical, rational, philosophical and evolved. We 'get' it. Well, we get the theory of it anyhow. But sitting at our computer is not really when we're put to the examination, is it? Information technology's when that person pisses us off (once more)… and all the personal development lessons from this website go straight out the window. Or hopefully not.
And then how do we react differently?
I'll tell you in function two.
Source: https://www.lifehack.org/articles/lifehack/how-to-control-the-way-you-react-part-one.html
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